Future Views.

When someone asks me what I am thinking about for the future I always freeze up.

Like I do not know!! I’m about to be 20 and I am probably the most lost 20 year old ever.

I am in college at the moment and I am actually transferring to Rowan in the fall. So in my future I definitely see myself graduating from Rowan. I also see myself getting this internship this summer.

HEY!I guess I am not that lost. I just get so scattered in my thoughts when I feel pressured to know every single detail about my future. I also plan on trying to continue my track and field career at Rowan.

Not sure yet. But maybe.

After graduation I definitely am moving out of state. I really want to move to Georgia but Florida is slowly becoming somewhere I can really see myself Graphic Design wise.

All I know is, time is flying and every day I feel like I am making better decisions than I did the say before.

I am super proud of myself.

So.. I am going to leave you all with this:

Follow your heart and trust that you will be able to accomplish anything that you can put your mind too.

heART.

heART.

I have so much heart. I care for people more than I care about myself. I put others before myself. If someone needs help I will be there even if I am mad at you.

heART.

I have a lot of heart. With all that heart comes the art of how I love. With all of that art comes the creativity of how I care.

heART.

He who dabbles in art is someone that people are drawn too. See what I did there? HE who dabbles in ART is someone people are DRAWN too.

heART.

I do not usually write this way, but I have this feeling in my heart that is telling me that this is how this needs to go.

heART.

Would you take part in breaking someones heart? Would you be the reason someones art is no longer in reach? Would you take away someones light?

heART.

I believe that anyone can break your heart. I also believe that not anyone can truly mend it . That takes a special kind of live.

heART.

The art. The art. The art. The art of loving. The art of caring. The literal art of drawing. The art of making someone smile.

heART.

Where is your heart? How do you use it?

 

A Tale.

HEY YOU THERE !!!!

It is now story time.

I was walking towards my house, regular day and definitely nothing suspicious going on. I see my mother walking into the kitchen because I am staring into the window. All of a sudden as I reach my doorstep I hear

Yo!!! Somebody please help me!! I need help!!

So being the person that I am I stepped back from my door and started looking around because I didn’t want something bad to happen to anyone. I hear the girl again, she sounds young and I see her standing in her doorway with the door wide open.

Now… I’m thinking… “Nyazhja, you have no idea what you are about to get yourself into do not go over there” but for some odd reason my legs kept walking towards her house.

She started waving at me motioning me to hurry up and making all eye contact. I put a little pep in my step and I finally reached her doorstep. I asked her what was wrong and she just looked so upset and ran into the house. I looked around my neighborhood and saw no one in sight so I walked in and closed the door behind me.

All of a sudden I hear a loud crash coming from the kitchen and I raced there because she started crying. When I ran into the kitchen it was a complete mess..

Just imagine a little girl lying on the ground next to her stool that tipped over. now look over at the counter and see all of the spilt milk and melted ice cream with sugar and a tipped over blender. Everything was a mess.

Can you please help me!? If my mom comes home and sees this mess she is going to be so mad. I just wanted to make her, her favorite milkshake for when she got home.

I started smiling and I said of course I would help. She lit up. I was just so happy that there wasn’t a dead body on the floor or something. I couldn’t believe she could have made such a huge mess either. She was about 9 or 10. Her mom walked in the house as we were cleaning up and she apologized but I said it was no problem and she made me a milkshake.

So.. I am going to leave you all with this:

Try to be as helpful as you can, you never know what someone is really going through.

 

 

Take Action.

For this blog post I am going to talk about something that is currently an ongoing problem in everyone’s life.

Have you ever personally discriminated, like for anything? Like your hair, your tattoos, or even your skin color?

Why? Why is it that people discriminate? Why is it that you can’t do what you want without being physically or mentally judged by someone who feels that they are “superior” to you in any way.

I am writing this blog to try to make you all understand that it is okay for someone to like things that you don’t, it is okay for someones skin tone to be different, it is okay to be going through problems that no one other than you will ever understand.

Give someone a chance. They could be so different on the outside and because you are scared to give that person a chance you’ll never know that they could possibly be the only person that will ever relate to you on a mental level. You and the very person that you discriminate against could easily be going through the same things.

My reasoning for this post is to try to convince you all that giving people a chance to get to know you and vice versa is something that should come easily in this world. You aren’t born to discriminate, that is something that is taught to you from a small age.

There is nothing that bothers me more than seeing a little girl who just wants to play dolls in the playground with the other little girls but she can’t because her doll isn’t “pretty” enough. Because that little girls parents don’t have the money to buy her a new one. Children are the base of this country. What we are what they reflect on. We need to do better.

I encourage you all to step out of your comfort zone and start bringing communities together.

With all of that being said I am going to leave you all with this:

Giving someone a chance may not only change their life, but it may change yours.

 

Reaction Post.

So, I read this blog post that I actually really liked.

Heres the link so you can get an idea of what im talking about as I continue :

https://kelseyannetaylor2319.wordpress.com/2017/03/17/day-454357-or-something/

“Day: 454357 or Something” is a blog post about a guy who is going through life and he doesn’t know what or where he wants to be. I feel like I can relate to this post because I currently do not know where or what I want to do. I feel like after these little four years of college are finished im still going to be lost. Of course, there is no telling where I will be or what I will be doing, BUT, currently there is no motivation for anything. I am a lost soul at the moment. I am someone who is just trying to understand where she wants to be in life.

I know that I don;t know where exactly it is I want to be. But I feel like everyone has an idea and goal set. I feel like I am currently just moving through life with no idea where I am going to be. That is why I relate to this blog post. Because while yes he graduated college with his degree and can move forward in his life. He just has no idea what he truly wants to do. Right now I am in school for something that I love, but I have no clue where it is going to lead me, I have no idea where or why or how I am going to move forward with my life.

So I think that  I am just going to leave you all with this:

Not all who wander are lost and not all who are lost wander.

 

 

Self-Confidence

Websters dictionary says:

“self confidence is confidence in oneself and in one’s powers and abilities.”

Publishing these blogs is an example of how much self-confidence I have. When I was younger I was taught that I have to love myself before anyone else can. Through my whole 19 years of living I would proudly say that I have always loved myself. But, there were always those days where I felt like I wasn’t good enough. There was always a little part of me that screamed ” you aren’t good enough to do that” or “sit down and keep your mouth shut before you say something stupid.”

The amount of people that go through self-confident issues is crazy. Girls aren’t pretty enough, skinny enough, they don’t have enough makeup on. Guys aren’t built enough, no fashion sense, too weird to ever find a girlfriend. There are so many reasons why people are insecure.

Insecurities can come from your home life more than anything. The way you are taught and brought up is how you reflect to the real world who you are. I have a friend, he’s gay, and he would come to me and talk about how he wants to be himself and wants to come out to his parents. I would always tell him that it is okay to be who you are. He would always brush me off . He was even hiding who he was while at school, he didn’t talk to many people and always ducked his way through the hallways. He always told me that he wasn’t confident in himself and didn’t know what was wrong with him, why was he like this. It always made me upset when he put himself down… he is such a good person.

Do you see the impact a home can have? all because his dad didn’t like “the gays” my friend kept to himself at all times because if he can’t be all of him he didn’t want to be anyone.

I am not saying that home is the only place that a child could lose self-confidence. I  have another example of when I met this girl. She was big boned. She always told me that she wanted to look just like me, body wise. She envied me and the crazy part was I that I envied her. Her curves were so gorgeous she is a very beautiful girl. But she did not see herself that way. She would tell her boyfriend that she wanted to be me she wanted to have my body and my confidence. I felt terrible because I unintentionally was the reason that this girl did not love herself. One day I sat her down and talked to her about why she was so uncomfortable with the way that she looked, and she said:

“I just want everyone to look at me when I walk down the hallway the way that they look at you. I am over weight and I am trying so hard to get in shape. You are literally my motivation.”

And in that moment I knew that it wasn’t my fault that she was insecure. It was society. Having a “fit” or “in shape” body is the number one goal. If you are over a certain weight you are ugly and not worth anyone’s time. That statement is completely and utterly false. There are so many women and men in this world that have low self confidence and they shouldn’t. There is not one person in this world who is better than you. Always remember that.

So I leave you all with this thought:

While you are wishing that you can have something someone else has, there is someone who wants exactly what you have. Be grateful for what you were born with. Not everyone is so lucky.

 

You can’t learn less.

For this second post, lets just jump into what my past has taught me and the current events going on in my life.

I remember when I was younger my mom always told me never to worry about what anyone ever thought about me. She was always supportive and I listened. Anything someone said about me or thought would bother me, I just brushed it off.Some people ask me how I do it, sometimes they ask me if I think letting people say whatever they want about me is like letting them walk all over me. I don’t.

In my recent experience there actually was a time where this group of people were talking about me. You know when you hear something about yourself and you’re like “wow when did I do that?” That’s the type of situation it was. They didn’t like me so rumors started out of no where and people stared at me with judging eyes.

What did I do? I kept my head up. Because I believe that even when people are being negative about or towards you, you should not retaliate in a way that they want you too. If you think about it, rumors start and then two weeks later someone else is the new “headline”, tragic really. So when my “headline” was dead and it was someone else time to shine, people still asked me about said rumor. And so the truth eventually came out that it was not true.

If you ever want to get under someones skin, you do not have to react to anything that they are doing to you. Having no reaction is sometimes the best thing for you to do. Because really, what did you learn from the situation other than you can be just as dirty as the person who started it. Where you can’t learn less, you can improve the person you would like everyone to truly know. I always look back on what my mother told me, she was always great role model, although she doesn’t think she is.

With all of this being said I am going to end with this:

At the end of the day someone is going to try to put you down regardless of your decisions, so do whatever makes YOU happy.

 

This is me.

The Point of my “19 & Moving” blog is to show you all that life throws many things at you. In my eyes the experiences are what makes someones character. Someone who is in their seventies may have way more experiences than someone who is nineteen. But is it not the type of experiences? Is it so that you have to be elderly in order to say that you know what you are talking about?

Here, to start off  “19 & Moving” I am going to give you all a little back story. I feel as though you should know the author you are reading about or taking advice from. My opinions and/or life events are not to intimidate or offend anyone.

My name is Nyazhja. It is pronounced Ny-Asia. Simple now, right? I come from a single parent home and have three younger siblings. I was born but not raised in Lakewood, New Jersey. I am a proud mix of Bahamian and Puerto Rican. No, I am not bilingual, I wish I was though.

In my younger years, my mom tells me that I was a good child, I didn’t cry or anything, potty trained early, learned how to read and write early, pretty much the child everyone wants. But, as my other siblings slowly started to show up I became corrupted pushing and biting my siblings, mocking them and taking their toys because I wanted them too, you know, the usual big sister things. My sister Jhadeya is 17(she stresses me out), next is my brother Jadin (my favorite..shhhh) he is 15, and last but not least the evil.. I mean Jalynn she’s 9. I HOLD MY SIBLINGS IN MY HEART OVER EVERYTHING.

I mentioned a single parent home earlier. I give all thanks to my mother. She may irk my soul and push my buttons like no one else ever will… but she is the one that was always there and at the end of the day, I will do anything for my mother. I also have to give many thanks to my grandmother, she is continuously  there for us when we needed help. I absolutely love these two women. My father was around here and there, don’t get me wrong as cool or whatever you want to call it, but I didn’t need another friend I needed a parent. He isn’t my mom and she most definitely is not him.

As many rough times my family and I have had, I always had my outlets which include; reading, music, any type of art, school, and track. There is so much you guys will learn about me, experinces you would of never thought I have been through. I usually do not write, but hey, lets see where this blogging thing brings me.

I am currently a sophomore in college, Graphic design major with a general business minor. I appreciate how much art plays a role in my life. When I was younger I was probably the worst drawer ever. Then one day I sat down picked up a pen and there it was, my first drawing. In my later years, I picked up photography. I may post some of my pieces on here in later blogs.

The point of “19 & Moving” is to share with you my everday experinces and opinions. To show you who I am and how my experiences molded me into who I am today. but, for right now im gonna end with this:

The choices you make in life can only hurt you when you don’t learn anything.